My Staffordshire Oatcake this morning
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I have to say that I mostly agree with this:
Bloody pandas. Tian Tian and Yang Guang have come to Edinburgh and we’re supposed to be thrilled. But why? Pandas are useless animals; one of evolution’s least successful products. Built to be carnivores, they actually subsist on a diet almost entirely of bamboo, so they are severely under-supplied with the nutrients that a decent steak would provide. They are notoriously rubbish at sex and their physical limitations are so acute that they even avoid steep slopes as just a bit too much of an effort. A shark is an infinitely more impressive creature, perfectly adapted to the task of swimming, killing and eating, and far more deserving of preservation. But since it lacks cuteness and occasionally eats humans, it is oddly absent from animal charity logos.
David Thomas, The Independent
So Abram rose, and clave the wood, and went, And took the fire with him, and a knife. And as they sojourned both of them together, Isaac the first-born spake and said, My Father, Behold the preparations, fire and iron, But where the lamb, for this burnt-offering? Then Arbam bound the youth with belts and straps, And builded parapets and trenches there And stretched forth the knife to slay his son. When lo! and Angel called him out of heaven, Saying, Lay not thy hand upon the lad, Neither do anything to him, thy son. Behold! Caught in a thicket by its horns, A Ram. Offer the Ram of Pride instead.
But the old man would not so, but slew his son, And half the seed of Europe, one by one.
Wilfred Owen